About Me

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MY JOURNEY
I fell in love with horses at 3 years old, begging my parents to pull over to let me feed apples to them on our way home. I was drawn to how powerful yet gentle, peaceful and present they were. 

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When I started riding lessons (after much begging!), something strange happened. My gentle touch turned hard, my respect and admiration skewed into expectation and force. I was taught to pull, kick, to override my own feelings in order to 'get the most' out of the horse I was riding. I would hear things like...
 

"Show them who is boss"
"If they say no give them a smack!"

This meant the more I was around horses, the less I knew, the harder I became, the more I asked and the less they wanted to be near me. Relationship was only spoken about in order to get something from the horse, rather than give back.
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So when I got my own horse Reggie at 15, he gave me a taste of humble pie. Our relationship did NOT look like the ones in the films, and the more I practiced what I had been taught, the more our relationship and communication deteriorated. Reggie didn’t care that I ‘owned him’, instead he responded to who I was being and behaving in the moment, shining a light onto my blocks, triggers and incongruencies. I couldn’t find a way to communicate with him without leaving both of us frustrated, dysregulated and confused, I felt completely disempowered, out of answers and didn't know who to turn to.

 

Things had to change. 

After some dark nights of the soul, I started to realise that I was part of the problem. Reggie wasn't 'naughty' he was misunderstood, and I needed look in the mirror first in order to change my relationship from the inside out. I carried internal stresses, pressures, conditioning and stories that came through in the relationship I cherished most. But if I was part of this problem, I was also part of the solution. I wanted more resources, support, self awareness and emotional regulation to feel empowered in this journey but didn't know how or where to find it. 

Reggie also brought his own stories and challenges to the relationship. He too needed support and guidance to feel safer in himself, with me and in the human world. His experience with humans was one of force and negativity, where they let him down and didn't listen, and had much to process about his journey to feel and show up without his blocks taking over his present experience.

So, I pulled my socks up and studied Psychology, sought different methods based on understanding, met an incredible mentor and moved from being my pony's worst nightmare to best friend. With each challenge another layer shedded for both of us. The more we didn’t fit the mould and let go of outer expectations, the deeper our relationship became.

Because contrary to what we are taught, relationship is our deepest need as social mammals, and can be more valuable to our wellbeing than food or water. Relationships that feel safe are what soothes and regulates our nervous systems, helps us be our truest self, and opens the door for:

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• Calmness

• Communication

• Connection

• Presence

• Processing & Healing

If this is what we & our horses need the most, why is it the last thing we learn?
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My journey moved in and out of horses, but kept coming back to relationships. I brought learnings with me from every corner, including being a teacher, a volunteer sports psychologist for a charity football team in Ghana, helping to emotionally rehabbing 5 horses in the Ghanaian mounted regiment, and working with countless horses and humans along the way.

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What kept shining through was: 

When we take responsibility of creating our own inner safety, we become a safe and regulating space for ourselves and others.

The more we work on our component, the more we shift the relationship as a whole. 

This came full circle during my training as an equine massage therapist, when I started noticing the visceral responses when helping horses feel safe, seen and heard. Their nervous system could finally let go, because they weren't worried about what was being asked of them, and just having a space held for them. Because they too are carrying their own burdens, stories and feeling of being misunderstood, often far greater than our own. It's time we took a breath and started to ask them what they need, and hold a safe space for them.

The Nervous System & an attunement based approach became a core influence in all areas of work and life, and something I will be forever passionate about sharing with clients and weaving into my own work.

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So, let’s be courageous enough to look in the mirror, and start from there. Relationships are the core of who we are, and they have the power to connect us across species, time and space. This is your time to start cleaning the dust that gets in the way, because when we start with the space we hold, we can change our world.​

When I am not working, I am walking the downs with my rescue Cob Indi, exploring wild Wales or swimming in the sea.​​

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Cat x